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A question people struggle with from time to time is “How do I make a dramatic change in my character so I can behave differently?” The good news is that there is hope for individuals who have pains associated with character behavior. Transforming pain caused by an unwanted behavior is not as simple as pressing a button. We are not robots; so, it is not possible for you to simply push a button to make the pain associated with behavior go away. We must depend on a higher power to direct us in a path that leads to transformation that is causing pain in our life.

If we attempt to lift ourselves out of the bitter pains of brokenness, broken friendship, broken job, or broken anything and become whole without the help of God, we set ourselves up for failure. We might be able to improve our situation in life for a while, but complete wholeness is not possible. Our creator alone has the power to make us whole. So, in faith, we should begin our search for transformation with the greater Power who is able to mend the brokenness that causes us pain and hurt.

People need their pain to be transformed rather than transferring it. If you don’t find ways to learn from your past pain, you are likely doomed to repeat past mistakes and transfer your pain to everyone with whom you interact with, such as your friends, family members, coworkers and neighbors. Ask God to break the chains that bound your past behavior and show you what useful lessons you can learn from them so you can begin moving forward.

Your greater Power is much more powerful than your history, and when you trust this Power the start of transforming your pain into healing and wisdom will begin. The voice of shame in your life will be silenced so it won’t block the healing that God wants to give you. Listen to the greater Power voice telling you that God loves you completely and unconditionally, regardless of what has happened in your past.

If you hold onto regrets from your past, it will only lead to more regrets unless you break the unhealthy cycle by releasing your regrets to God. Realize that it’s pointless to dwell on your regrets, since you can’t go back and change your past—all you can do is keep moving forward. Pray specifically about each of your regrets while envisioning transformation taking place in your life to rid you of your pain.

So, don’t waste any more time or energy pretending to be fine when you’re really hurting, lonely, confused, or frightened because of your past pain. Put your faith in God. And Never Give Up! Never Give Up! Never Give Up!

By Chaplain Ghosten