No one can heal quickly after a bad relationship. If you are recovering from a troubled relationship, it’s a mistake to rush into another one without giving your heart time to mend. Brokenness from a hurtful relationship takes time to heal. Starting another relationship too soon can cause greater pain for both you and your partner.
Allow me to give you some advice. Before starting a new relationship take time to search God’s word to find out how he feels about you. God’s opinion is the only reliable foundation on which to build your self-worth. Remember, you can only love, or be loved again, with the same wholeness with which you love yourself.
Allow yourself to grieve before beginning another relationship. Establish strict boundaries and actively rebuild your life through self-care and social support. Accept the pain of a broken relationship instead of suppressing it and then focus on your personal needs. Think of the breakup as a catalyst for your personal growth and an opportunity to start afresh.
The Bible teaches healing through proactive reconciliation, forgiveness, and relying on God for restoration. Key principles for restoration include making the first move to resolve the hurt that you are experiencing. It is said that time is a great healer, so give yourself ample time before launching into a new relationship.
Make sure your choice isn’t dictated by need or the fear of being alone. Be careful with your heart! Remember to value yourself, because when you don’t, it is easy to get involved in another relationship that may eventually end up like the previous one. There are plenty of examples of individuals marrying too soon after the first relationship goes wrong, only to be wounded again shortly afterward.
You train others how to treat you by how you treat yourself. As you become spiritually and emotionally whole, you will start seeing how unhealthy some of your former choices have been. If some people walk away, so be it. Sometimes you must give up less in order to have more. The God who said, “it is not good for man to be alone” has new relationships in mind for you. But he may be waiting until your values and self-perception line up with his. So, take it step by step, one day at a time, and remember to rejoice because your best days are still ahead of you. Healing takes time, so be blessed and Never Give Up! Never Give Up! Never Give Up!
Dr. Walter Ghosten
