Each of us has different traits but together, those unique attributes can be a blessing. My parents were very different in personality, yet through 66 years of marriage, they made their differences work for the good of the family. As an adult, I often wondered how they sustained their marriage all those many years. They had their disagreements, but they always seemed to work through them.
My mother was outgoing and my father was not. She was an avid cook, and he was an avid fixer of things. However, the one thing that they had in common was that both loved God. I believe the glue that held their marriage together was a unified faith—a shared belief that God was the answer to all their problems.
You see, we need each other because we are different. My father was a quiet individual who didn’t say much, but when he spoke, we all listened. Mother was an extrovert. She was the one who kept the family organized in all our activities. Could these differences cause friction in the home? It certainly did, but the real issue was not their differences. It was learning to make those God given traits work for them instead of against each other. That is why their marriage endured for 66 years, until death parted them.
In today’s world, we have lost our understanding of how to make our differences complement one another. The day you start looking for what God is trying to teach you through someone else is the day you stop grappling and start growing. God can teach us how to love and learn from one another, even though we are different.
As a couple, there are no problems stemming from your differences that cannot be solved by applying a healthy recipe of God’s grace and following his guidelines for building a happy relationship. But a strong marriage must be built intentionally—and it takes work. Just as a corporation relies on individuals with diverse skills and knowledge to thrive, a strong relationship relies on two distinct people bringing their unique strengths to the table.
It’s said that “two imperfect people do not make one perfect marriage.” However, two imperfect people committed to loving one another and following God’s guidelines can build a marriage that comes wonderfully close.
Ultimately, the Bible teaches that we are designed for interdependence. From the opening chapters of Genesis, God declares, “it is not good for the man to be alone.” Building on that truth, the New Testament emphasizes that we need each other daily for support, accountability, and spiritual growth. Be blessed Never Give Up! Never Give Up! Never Give Up!
Dr. Walter Ghosten
